This morning I was doing a simple chore
I remembered those moments from a time ago
Those moments that I can’t forget and moments that I can’t,
deny there wasn't something there even though I tried.
I can feel your hands warming up my hands right now in the
cold as if it just happened all over again.
Then I realized I was imaging you.
Sometimes you knew when my hands were just warm enough but
you continued to hold my hands as if it was a normal thing to just do, holding
on.
Holding on as if I wouldn't let you keep holding my hands.
The truth is I didn't mind, holding your hand as I rest my head on your
shoulder.
We were an innocent thing at the time and neither one of us
acted on it. But it was sweet enough that I wish it would have lasted forever
or at least repeated again.
On this day, I thought of you often. More than I should of
today. But it was worth it, to just remember your touch, your breathing. And
how you used to rub your thumb around my hand. Also being connected on a level
that we never discussed.
Even when I had gloves on and you somehow knew they were
still cold. And when I denied that they were freezing, you took off my gloves
and held my hands until it was time to let them go.
Then the next day would come and I would see you, sit next
to you and you would touch my hands as if you truly wanted to be connected
again. Each day of every morning I would look forward to that moment each time.
Each time we would touch felt more real than any form of
love I have been in or seen anywhere. Less words, but the words were never need
to be said, our touch was enough I felt connected to someone who cared just for
my well-being for once.
This connection was shared.
It was more than enough
that I have to say that I might have fallen in love with you, with a simple
hand holding than anything else. But you will never know that because I never
told you and yet I feel that I might have told you when I said, “I feel more
relaxed around you than anyone else in my life and that’s hard to do”.
You never said a word
about what I said but you continue to hold my hand and smile. Most people will
never understand why so simple was perfect. And I will always hold on to those
memories because someone special might come along but they might have to live
up to that moment at some point. Who knows our paths may cross and that special
person I am meant to be with is you.
