This is how I feel , honestly without leaving anything out. Today I cried for a hour or two, I don't know why I felt the need to cry it out, when I have people to talk to with a phone call away from me, but I did.I was thinking about my passions, my goals, what I want to accomplish in this life and where I am [( In Life ) and ( physically/emotionally) ]. I know what I want to pursue in life. I also know what I want is a one in a billion chance of happening. I don't mind that it will be hard journey to go on and I still might get it in the end. I have come to terms with that .
Reflection in a girl who knows, who she is
I just want to be happy in my heart , in my soul and have no regrets, make some mistakes along the way.This year is about my happiness and I made a promise to myself, that I intend to keep. I promised to be truly happy for once in my life and let nothing get in my way, also to pursue my goals,dreams and a career.
My problem is that I try to make everyone else in my life happy in the process instead of making myself happy, when I shouldn't. That is not fair to me, I don't want to hurt anyone in the process intentionally , that's just not what I want to do.
I just want everyone to understand why I am not letting this "One Thing" go. I have been giving up on what I have always wanted through out the years to make others happy. And I know, how people see me then to now. Yes, that used to hurt me , that my circle of people thought of me less, instead of seeing me putting others before myself. When I would step out the door to move on, the door would pull me back in and closed the door once again. Another curve ball is tossed at me while the door is closed and I think ,"It is just not my turn yet."
Lately I have been thinking , "When is it ever the right time to do things anyway?" I understand that now things will always be harder for me than most but I am willing to try and if I fail,once, twice and maybe a third time. But I am tried of people telling me, NO and "It's not even worth my time " to pursue certain things. It may not be worth it to do, but it will be worth it to me either way it goes in the end.
Reflection in a girl who knows, who she is
I am tried of people deciding on my life, my future, my career.When I am the one who has to live it, breathe it and wake up to it, That may be,what everyone else wants for me, I appreciate all your thoughts and opinions. I can understand your opinions on certain terms and see if that's the best choice to make when it come to it.
I want you to listen and understand where I am coming from in my heart. I am not asking for permission, I am asking for understanding and "Go , Pursue your dreams I am here until you get it". I have always had plans for my life and back up plans when things don't workout, I don't want or need things to be handed to me I wasn't raised that way. Why should it be that way?
I want my own mountain top , built by my own two hands.I don't know how to keep explaining that when it's simple enough.
I want a career being an author, sharing stories that sit on someone else shelf to inspire.I want a career in photography to share with the world, what I see with my eyes. I want to own my own business and run it the best I can. I want to buy my own piece of land and build a home. A home that I am proud of to call my own and fill it with laughs. Being happy is important to me, that I created and went after my own mountain top and it will be worth it. It wont be easy and it will a long journey to get there, I know where I am meant to go and be in this life, I feel it.
Reflection in a girl who knows, who she is
But I don't want to be the girl who sat around and waited for something to land in her lap or the girl who never tried at least. That scares me the most than anything, that I never stood for something.
I was raised to be me and stand up for myself. And if I don't, Who am I? Staying silent while everyone tells me what to do with a life that was given to me. I don't want to impress anyone anymore but myself to work towards to my life, I never ask for much in life but I ask for understanding of my choices and stand in my corner when I need you to before you close me down to things, see want makes me full with a purpose in life.
She knows who she is but she rather share it with you then hide it away from you.
Reflection in a girl who knows, who she is
My problem is that I try to make everyone else in my life happy in the process instead of making myself happy, when I shouldn't. That is not fair to me, I don't want to hurt anyone in the process intentionally , that's just not what I want to do.
I just want everyone to understand why I am not letting this "One Thing" go. I have been giving up on what I have always wanted through out the years to make others happy. And I know, how people see me then to now. Yes, that used to hurt me , that my circle of people thought of me less, instead of seeing me putting others before myself. When I would step out the door to move on, the door would pull me back in and closed the door once again. Another curve ball is tossed at me while the door is closed and I think ,"It is just not my turn yet."
Lately I have been thinking , "When is it ever the right time to do things anyway?" I understand that now things will always be harder for me than most but I am willing to try and if I fail,once, twice and maybe a third time. But I am tried of people telling me, NO and "It's not even worth my time " to pursue certain things. It may not be worth it to do, but it will be worth it to me either way it goes in the end.
Reflection in a girl who knows, who she is
I am tried of people deciding on my life, my future, my career.When I am the one who has to live it, breathe it and wake up to it, That may be,what everyone else wants for me, I appreciate all your thoughts and opinions. I can understand your opinions on certain terms and see if that's the best choice to make when it come to it.
I want you to listen and understand where I am coming from in my heart. I am not asking for permission, I am asking for understanding and "Go , Pursue your dreams I am here until you get it". I have always had plans for my life and back up plans when things don't workout, I don't want or need things to be handed to me I wasn't raised that way. Why should it be that way?
I want my own mountain top , built by my own two hands.I don't know how to keep explaining that when it's simple enough.
I want a career being an author, sharing stories that sit on someone else shelf to inspire.I want a career in photography to share with the world, what I see with my eyes. I want to own my own business and run it the best I can. I want to buy my own piece of land and build a home. A home that I am proud of to call my own and fill it with laughs. Being happy is important to me, that I created and went after my own mountain top and it will be worth it. It wont be easy and it will a long journey to get there, I know where I am meant to go and be in this life, I feel it.
Reflection in a girl who knows, who she is
I was raised to be me and stand up for myself. And if I don't, Who am I? Staying silent while everyone tells me what to do with a life that was given to me. I don't want to impress anyone anymore but myself to work towards to my life, I never ask for much in life but I ask for understanding of my choices and stand in my corner when I need you to before you close me down to things, see want makes me full with a purpose in life.
She knows who she is but she rather share it with you then hide it away from you.
Well said. No worries Cassie. You are already further than most mentally. A good head on your shoulders. Remember this everything happens according to Gods plan. Keep your eyes open an keep moving towards your stongest desires. You will get what you think about most. Put your efforts there. You are beautiful. You have purpose.
ReplyDeleteTo Inspiring others to a better life,
DeleteThank you for your kind words. I agree with you , I think everything happens for a reason . I will keep going towards my dreams and go after my purpose.
Thank You again for your words!