Pounds on the Heart

I have been betrayed and lied to many times  to even want to go through another round of that for anyone including you.
You knew that  and I don't know how to make it any clearer to you. You slowly ruined our strong relationship to where, there wouldn't be one soon. I attempted to fix us because I might not handle losing you completely but I will at some point. Just the same as the others.You can deny all you want and say that I have lost my marbles and my sight. But I have the most concrete proof in the world  handed to me to back up my case and you let the world see that to.
All I am asking,"Is for you to double check what you are doing is appropriate by your standards? And make a choice."
Should you be having "Fun" with these other people , when you have someone very special next to you? Is it worth fifteen plus years of ups and downs with someone who really knows you, for you and has accepted you for all your faults?
I stare at the concert evidence and all I am  thinking is,"Why damage something that should be worth it ?And  you did say that it was always worth it, to you?"I tell you how I feel about this with full honestly and you laugh in my face constantly. Sometimes I hope and pray that I am just in a very long dream.But each day I wake up and there is that red concrete  that won't go away in my face.If you respected me the way you say you do, then you would attempt to come clean or have a game plan. But we both know you have dug yourself to deep in that hole to jump out any time soon.
Now I don't care if  you choose "fun" over something real. I want you to be happy but not destroy the one other solid in my life that has been there for me since forever.And that isn't okay with me if you destroy it.
This has been going on for three and half years now. I just can't let this go on any longer it's making me sick inside.I was slowly losing myself in the beginning without even knowing it.Now I am not myself , losing sleep,losing happiness,constantly under stress.
I put my own life on hold, so you can fix the mess you created. I have been surveying everything that I have and I am to the point of complete emptiness. You say,"Its not my fault everyone is going further than I am".But how could I even believe you when I know everything , I know  when you lie and betray.
Now in this moment you are on your own.I will not fix your mess any longer then I already have. I will not be there when you have exhausted your last chance. Enjoy your fishing because that's all you will have left. I am going to live the life I always wanted. To be filled with worth it. I am going to let all these pounds of lies and betrayal on my heart from a joker who doesn't see true love in his face.
The pounds are off my heart and I can breathe again and I hope those pounds will never return and you see what I see and do something  about it. And if you don't that was your choice and not my problem.

Baby love

A friend of mine wanted pictures of her baby girl. Here is  a few:

 "Simple"

 "Attachment"