Life is a Battle,But what do you with it?

Maybe I am kidding myself?

 Maybe this setback is the reason I shouldn't continue and just let it go.

And just go through the path that I am forced into.

Give in once again, give in to them.

Maybe life isn't about happiness anymore but about doing the things you don't want to do.

To just move in the direction that would be slower than sitting on what you want.

Maybe I was never cut out for what I want to be, or where to be in life.

I see friends doing so well in all their achievements and I am proud of each of them.

But I am sitting here, "What I am doing here?"

Seriously I thought of my plan for life would work out for once. But I am still here, drowning in life's problems of everyone else and I am picking up the pieces all over again.And still trying to make life something that would be worth for myself.

I guess history does repeat itself, time and time again.

I face this constant problem once a week of every month at least.

It's the battle, which I think people must face at some point in their life.

It seems when I find a path through that battle , it just freezes and goes back to the same.

I stare at the fork in the road so many times, and then I choose the path.

That path then turns into that same fork road again. It does turn back to where I want it to be for a while at least then to the same spot again.

As if life is asking me, "Are you sure about this?" Life keeps daring me by the choices I have made and throwing to many curves at once. To the point that I just stop catching the curves.

And just let it rain with all the curves  it can throw and I sit because I am too tired to start over with the little strength , I have to fight.

Then something happens..

 I am the one asking life questions right back :

What did I do wrong? Why am I the one who’s hurt again? And what happened? How did I get here again?

Sometimes Life does answer back with  signs that make sense and I thank those curves being thrown.

Then I pull together all the strength I have to use, pick up my own pieces and look at my path and life all over with a different light that has some problems solved.

The battle with life and what a person might not ever end but if you keep fighting it may be all worth it in the end.

Fighting with the wrong person

It's round after round with you , isn't?

Always arguing about the same stuff until we end up with silence through the night.
What started to be a simple statement turned into a hurricane, a lighting storm and a blizzard in a short span of an hour.
 I can't bottle everything up like I used to and I am sorry for that.My body is too full to contain anymore lies and getting things throw at me for no reason.And I am too weak as if I am a trash can; to fight anymore. But it seems like that's the only way we can communicate now days. Which is heartbreaking to say . We were so close and now we are to far apart to be connected as were once.
You are the only person in the world that knows all my buttons and triggers that I have and you use them against me as your ammo. Through every argument we had lately you had use them endlessly.
  To point at me as if you didn't do a thing and flip everything I said, instead of listening to the content. I have noticed you listen to respond to get the last word, always.And that's fine, you can have the last word every time.I wish you would just listen to my words and understand where I am coming from.

            
             That second to the last fight , 

 You said, "You are fighting with the wrong person". That's where you are wrong ,even through you won't admit it. The truth is you are fighting with the wrong person,
 You have lied, broke to many promises and mutilated too many situations. And I am still here, fighting to make you understand,But yet I know I should quit before I am completely broken into glass,
The only person you should be fighting with is yourself because that's the problem. You can't accept being wrong and imperfect, just like the rest of us, The ego is too big and being vulnerable is too hard,
I do understand. But why. It's me here the one you say, "Is truly important to you".I have learned something about the reason behind truly loving the people around you.That people do things for the people , they love for a number of things in life.
But to do the impossible; to save the ones they love from themselves. And show their love ones that doing the hardest obstacle in life is the key of how much those people mean to them.
Again  I am still fighting with you even tho,
I shouldn't and I am falling apart from this.
It's what I have to do to show you  that's it's okay to be wrong and lose. And still be happy with life in the end.
I lose sleep many nights and lose my own happiness to show you that I am here... for.. you..
Please quit fighting with me and put up that white flag , so we can start to mend this. If not and we keep fighting over and over.I will start being slight then go invisible in your life, I beg you to stop fighting with the  "wrong person" and  look into yourself for me, All I ask...