The Idea of you seems Close

Sometimes I wish I could lay with you  either under the stars or in complete silence. While staring into your dancing eyes but wishing isn't the same as when you are here, next to me. The smell of your green sweatshirt on the blue chair that was once  on a lone before it became mine.

 The Idea of you seems Close

Messy bed hair, a draping arm around me, sounds perfect. It sounds even better; when I stir in the morning. Starting each day with a smile on while the alarm goes off and you always pull me deeper in the bed a little closer then I was before.
"Where do you think you are going? My alarm never went off, so stay here".

The Idea of you seems Close

I would turn over and look into those optimistic eyes and say, "I could stay longer but I want to miss you awhile in the morning.Pushing your arm off and pulling the duvet off to get up. Somehow you would grab me back to bed again. Sleepy eyes and a smile on your face, "You had your miss me moment and now it's over.Did you miss me excessively?"

 The Idea of you seems Close

I would laugh a little harder then I should, "Not one bit. I didn't get an chance to miss you enough to know." Throwing a wink back at you, as I start to leave again. I hear a quiet long whistle, that's never easy to forget. "You look better in bed then moving around to start a day that doesn't need to be started quiet yet".

 The Idea of you seems Close

Walking into the kitchen, I see you, where you stood on the back deck. Grabbing my coffee mug off the counter top and walking out to you seem to be normal to me, until I knew it wasn't anymore.You would turn to your left and say ," Our dreams are endless when we are together on this foundation".
 Enjoying each morning with the same start was too perfect to have forever. Standing side by side each morning was by far more then any fancy dinner for two. Morning forehead kisses were slow as we dance together with the sound of the world is coming alive as we move around.

The Idea of you Seems Close

I see you more than I should, when you are gone. You keep showing up in places where, we had moments that were either once in a blue moon or a common recurrence. During the daylight seems a little easier than other hours. Hearing your footsteps through the house coming closer, would bring a smile or two just as they once would. You would look perfectly "Raw" with a sweet smile that makes want you a little more.

 The Idea of you Seems close

 On a day that I missed you excessively there was a note in a mail. Seeing a postcard between the bills seemed to be a urgent matter to look at first.
On the other side it said,"Seeing you around here. Makes me want to be closer to you ,when I am there".
Rubbing my hand over the written words with my eyes closed, I can see you saying those words in  front of me. The idea of you, being close makes my heart ache with your words in my hands. Wishing for more of those moments together with endless winking and slow dances in the backyard.

 The Idea of you seems Close 

When you left sixty-two days ago and you don't come home for another sixty days.
Some days it feels as if each day gets longer and time slows down until I go through the mail.There is always a note reminding me , why I fell in love with you in the first place.
Always keeping me intrigued in anything you say with few words.

 The Idea of you seems Close

For two weeks straight, you have me wrapped your finger like a novelist in the old days.
The first postcard Monday:  "Remember when you said, don't eat to much healthy junk food.(By the way junk food is healthy if you only eat it as a meal besides dessert, just saying) Well I..."
I went through the mail twice to find out if there is more to this synopsis.
Not until the third day Wednesday: you wrote: "I only had a piece of a whole cake; mind you it was carrot cake, a piece of steak and one whole sweet potato. By the way, if you are shaking your head now just wait until I tell you..."
Friday comes along and the postcard said,
 "Never ride an elephant backwards when it's running for life, there's nothing to hold on to besides the..
P.s I am alive and well just came back from a massage with.."
I was laughing until you had to tell me, you had a massage.
Monday come back along you wrote:
" Life advice from me : When someone says don't go in a dark cave without flashlight , don't by all means don't because I did..."
I though for two days, I should be concerned for you until the follow Wednesday.
"One might might run out a cave and into a hole with water flowing underneath you and something licking your face."
P.S : Don't saying anything I know, I should listen... I am fine but I wouldn't want you to kiss me anytime soon.. Tiger licked me and gave that massage in some painful places..
On Friday night with a glass if wine I read the note
"If you are wondering why you love me it's because you never know, what will come out of my mouth and anything can happen when I am around any one....
...You can only imagine that you can say things are never dull..
I am bring home a Bambi.. Don't worry I will take care of him.

The idea of you seems Close

 Getting home Monday afternoon there was a caution sign and a notice sign and it say's: Your husbands home and Bambi is too.. come find us.. we are in the backyard..."
From that moment I knew why I will never walk away from you, making our lives into a discovery of endless adventures into the unknown of this time called Life.

The Man I knew to be one of a kind

The shadow of light through an open door way reminds me of a simple time, a simple life, my childhood. Where I am now, in time of the present is stopped and I am staring into my childhood room from a time ago, that I wanted to forget. A white painted room in the corner of the house with pink flowery bed cover , white and pink flowery drawers. It was a happy time now, that I look back on it.
 I remember the man who wasn't my biological dad but he was the dad that I loved when my dad wasn't around.He had a way of showing life through his eyes and the innocence of life when he grew up. And he loved me like his own daughter everyday ,when he was around. We shared our own little secrets and moments that I will never let go of because it made our relationship special, he is still teaching me life still to this day.
 He never once turned off the hallway light, knowing my dark room scared me through out the nights. No matter how much it irritated everyone in the house, he wouldn't. He would always leave my room each night saying , "You break the fear " until one night I turned off the light. Teaching me it was fine to do things when you were ready and no one was forcing you to break own a fear that wasn't theirs.

One kind of Special

 I remember sitting in the living room after a bad dream from the night before and I woke up early because the smell of pancakes filled the room. He asked, " Why are was up at this hour ?" I remember  telling him my dream and he said, "It's all okay , I am here". I knew in that time frame, that's all I ever wanted.Someone to be in my corner , when I can't smile.

One Kind of Special

I remember the time when I was out on the front porch waiting for him to come home during the night. A little girl in her Purple Jammies waiting to be scared from all the noise behind her.When he did come home, he picked me up from the stair steps, "What are you doing out here all by yourself?" I replied with , "Mommy, has too many friends here. I want some Ovaltine, I wanted you".That man carried me through out the house, took me to my childhood room and said, "Wait". He came back, sat down next to me and we started to color with crayons while he drank water and I drank my warm milk. He kissed me on my head, stayed with me until I fell asleep and I was tucked into bed.The next morning , I walked out of my room and into the house that looked like mine but it wasn't mine. There was spaghetti everywhere from ceiling to floor , footprints on the walls  as if it was brand new wallpaper. There he was in the kitchen with a smile on his face and making pancakes, simple life then.

                                                             
                                               One kind of Special

I also remember the moment when we sat on the couch, watching some show on the television and talking about why people have different belly-buttons and different heartbeats. I had come to conclusion that people are special because of their rhythms and their belly-buttons then. I remember him saying , "Listen to my heart". I placed my ear on his chest and listened. From that moment to now, I never forget how it sounded, the beating of his heart and his breathing. No two belly buttons and heartbeats are alike.

 I remember the one dream , where I was afraid and lost . Everyone I knew was gone and in turn I wanted to be lost too. I woke up but yet I was still afraid and I wanted to end my tears away. He walked in and asked , "Why are you crying?" and I told him why. Things changed in that moment, I saw how much, he truly cared when others would brush off any thoughts or feelings I had. He made me not afraid of my dreams either when they are rough or untouchable."You break the fear ".

He is the kind of the man, who wasn't living with my mother anymore but he always showed up. He showed up to my fifth grade graduation when my mom never came.

The man I knew to be one of the kind

Now life wasn't perfect and things happened when things got messy. People change, people change your judgement towards things when I didn't realized it.Things were done and said but no matter what I looked forward to those phone calls of updates from him and telling him how I was doing.
One day he was gone,before I knew it and yet I knew when he was gone without anyone telling me. I heard his voice around me as if he was the wind that very day.  "Take care of the girls, watch over them ,when you can, protect them.Promise me." I answered the voice in the wind , the voice I knew all too well , I answered back with , "I promise". That day changed me forever in my life from the girl playing a simple game in the field to be the girl who watched and listened to those who matter most.
                                                    

                                  The man I knew to be one of the kind

For the longest time I wouldn't share that moment I had with anyone until my little sisters grew up and I know they would understand why I always wanted to know what they are up to in their lives.
When I found out he was gone, I thought about the voicemail's he would leave me. I went through the couple I had from him and listen to them on repeat for awhile. There was this last voicemail I had from him was to special to let go of , I kept it on my phone for the longest time because it made me feel that he was still around. One day I went through my voicemail's searching for something to give me advice or a smile and I found his . I listen to it and smiled but when I closed my phone that day , I forgot to save it again. I cried that day and called his phone for weeks to hear his voice after eachday until the service was off.

 The Man I knew to be one of the kind

I will never forget that man, who he was and still is to me, what he meant in life and what he stood for. From tonight's light in the hallway, I remember him and in all he was meant to me alone, every good moment, every great little conversations and the true meaning behind it all. It will always be an internal connection between us. A man accepting another man's daughter as his own and a daughter loving a dad that stood among the rest, when he didn't need to.

June 2016

I haven't been posting lately because life has been getting me busy more then ever. And when life makes you busy,  doing the many dual adult things that take up much of the days. For example going to the doctors, taking too many phone calls, and house work being done on the house,etc. It has just been a busy last few months about life as a whole. But trust me, I have been writing, taking pictures
( the pictures need to be edit first before they are posted) and thinking about new projects to adventure in. So don't worry, I will be posting new pieces for this month and a new gallery.  The few pieces that will come out this month are very special to me and I let down a few more walls . Don't forget I have a special piece coming this month and I don't want anyone to miss it ! It comes out June 16th!
Please always leave me a comment on here or on my other medias, I love hearing from you guys and don't forget to share any of my pieces !
   Always, cassie ( misread)

Left behind (In the tracks)

You left me behind in the tire tracks where I was lost in the world each time. During the last time, it felt as if you left me in a desert during a lighting storm, behind the dust.

Now I see you as someone else that used to be you once upon a time. And what you stood for before now. When things were tough, you ran no matter, how small the problem was. You left. So many times before, I stood still for a moment or two hoping that you would turn around but you never did. Each time you returned after a while and sometimes you were fine or worse off before you left in the first place. It wasn’t easy to lock myself away from the, “Sorry’s” and “It’s all your fault not mine”.

When you couldn’t handle the pressure, out the door you went to your escape from me. I would stare through the front window until you start to move away from the driveway. Then I would run outside to see if you would truly leave again. Every time I couldn’t stop thinking if I stood behind the rear view window, you would realize “No matter what you say at the end of the day, you hurt me and I still hope the man, I looked up to would see what he does to himself ” .

That last time was the worst after standing in the driveway for those dragging moments, waiting in the wind to breathe again. Walking back into the empty house after closing the heavy door, I fell to my knees, weeping and then hugging myself into a tight ball on the cold floor in silence. Repeating to myself slowly through the tears, “Why… Why… What did I do? To deserve this much pain.” From the few words you said, impacted my life more than ever on how I can trust and care for others. You said, “You don’t care about me, I could be gone forever and you wouldn’t care and it wouldn’t matter. I want to leave this place and not back here ever”. I let you walk out the door because I knew that no matter what I could say to make you stay.

All I could say to you while holding back tears: “You just said the worst to me. I am still here, caring is who I am, I may separate myself away from a dead discussion but I have never walked out on you nor that I will. I had too many people walk through doors and things changed after that. If you want to leave, then leave. You can but don’t expect me to be happy and act as if nothing happened if you come back”. After those words you said nothing but grabbed your keys from your jean pocket. And out the door you went, never looking back when you should of.     

That was the last time you would hurt my heart ever again. Laying on the cold tile floor with too many tears and shaking uncontrollably waiting for my breathing to return to normal. Trying to make sense, how to move and what to do next was a hard concept to comprehend at the time. Making phone calls to a few, who could make me laugh for a few minutes, seem to be the best medication to cover up the pain.

During one of the phone calls, you called and I knew what was coming. I took the call, when I shouldn’t have to hear the same story over again. I thought, “You never made loving you easy”. Changing my reaction was hard in the moment to do, you sounded as if you honesty regretted walking out this time. I felt your forgiving words and I could forgive you, one day and that’s the truth. What made me freeze during the call was that you said, you got my favorite things and you were coming home to talk. I stayed silent until you finished with your speech. “That’s fine that you did that, you can handle things around here, I need space. But I won’t run away to do it. Don’t expect me to sit in the same area with a smile on my face, when I have been crying for hours and losing my voice”.

When you came home, I let you in and yet I felt that you were still gone, while I am still left behind. We could have the same discussion over and aver again about our relationship. About the things, we need to work on and to move forward but you still walk away in the end because it’s too difficult to do.

Walking away is never easy for me and it’s something I never want to do unless I have to. That’s my line in the sand; you can walk away as many times you want. If it continues to happen, I will walk away to and not came back either. You broke through the bond that was unbreakable at one point until you broke me slowly in times, when we could have been stronger.

Separating myself away in a room with a pen in hand, waiting for the words to come to me and on the paper below. Words were hard to say out loud and express but I love you. Leaving me in the tracks isn’t fair to the girl who always stood next to you, when she shouldn’t. Having to tell you millions of times, how you make things worse isn’t worth it any longer. When I am not your match, find your match but don’t push them away from your good qualities that make you good. I am your friend and your closest confidant to the end, go find your own happiness.

Reflection in a girl who knows

This is how I feel , honestly without leaving anything out. Today I cried for a hour or two, I don't know why I felt the need to cry it out, when I have people to talk to with a phone call away from me, but I did.I was thinking about my passions, my goals, what I want to accomplish in this life and where I am [( In Life ) and ( physically/emotionally) ]. I know what I want to pursue in life. I also know what I want  is a one in a billion chance of happening. I don't mind that it will be hard journey to go on and I still might get it in the end. I have come to terms with that .

Reflection in a girl who knows, who she is

I just want to be happy in my heart , in my soul and have no regrets, make some mistakes along the way.This year is about my happiness and I made a promise to myself, that I intend to keep. I promised to be truly happy for once in my life and let nothing get in my way, also to pursue my goals,dreams and a career.
My problem is that I try to make everyone else in my life happy in the process instead of making myself happy, when I shouldn't. That is not fair to me, I don't want to hurt anyone in the process intentionally , that's just not what I want to do.
 I just want everyone to understand why I am not letting this "One Thing" go. I have been giving up on what I have always wanted through out the years to make others happy. And I know, how people see me then to now. Yes, that used to hurt me , that my circle of people thought of me less, instead of seeing me putting others before myself. When I would step out the door to move on, the door would pull me back in and closed the door once again. Another curve ball is tossed at me while the door is closed and I think ,"It is just not my turn yet."
Lately I have been thinking , "When is it ever the right time to do things anyway?" I understand that now things will always be harder for me than most but I am willing to try and if I fail,once, twice and maybe a third time. But I am tried of people telling me, NO and "It's not even worth my time " to pursue certain things. It may not be  worth it to do, but it will  be worth it to me either way it goes in the end.

Reflection in a girl who knows, who she is 

I am tried of people deciding on my life, my future, my career.When I am the one who has to live it, breathe it and wake up to it, That may be,what everyone else wants for me, I appreciate all your thoughts and opinions. I can understand your opinions on certain terms and see if that's the best choice to make when it come to it.
I want you to listen and understand where I am coming from in my heart. I am not asking for permission, I am asking for understanding and "Go , Pursue your dreams I am here until you get it". I have always had plans for my life and back up plans when things don't workout, I don't want or need things to be handed to me I wasn't raised that way. Why should it be that way?
I want my own mountain top , built by my own two hands.I don't know how to keep explaining that when it's simple enough.
I want a career being an author, sharing stories that sit on someone else shelf to inspire.I want a career in photography to share with the world, what I see with my eyes. I want to own my own business and run it the best I can. I want to buy my own piece of land and build a home. A home that I am proud of to call my own and fill it with laughs. Being happy is important to me, that I created and went after my own mountain top and it will be worth it. It wont be easy and it will a long journey to get there, I know where I am meant to go and be in this life, I feel it.

Reflection in a girl who knows, who she is 

But I don't want to be the girl who sat around and waited for something to land in her lap or the girl who never tried at least. That scares me the most than anything,  that I never stood for something.
I was raised to be me and stand up for myself. And if I don't, Who am I? Staying silent while everyone tells me what to do with a life that was given to me. I don't want to impress anyone anymore but myself  to work towards to my life, I never ask for much in life but I ask for understanding of my choices and stand in my corner when I need you to before you close me down to things, see want makes me full with a purpose in life.
She knows who she is but she rather share it with you then hide it away from you.

A reflection from a Girl into a Woman

She walked into the empty house, room by room. Rooms are starting to blur together into one empty space full of memories that were kept at bay. As she reaches for the door handle to her old room from a time ago, she can't believe what she sees before her eyes. There are mirrors around the room and pictures of her past are on the ground. She knows why they are there. They are placed inside the room because she walked away alone from being unhappy in her eyes.

   Her eyes alone have always told her true story to anyone who wants sees into her core.

She may look happy to those who are around but her eyes say something different. No matter, how hard she tried to be happy and fine on the outside, she wasn't in her soul.

 When no one was around, her mask is dropped on the ground and alone she is. She cried most of the time about where she was in life and how she had gotten there in the first place. She stepped into the past, over the threshold into her life that still has a hold of her, before she ever walked away.  She started Sink into the ground as if it was quicksand beneath her feet. Then she looked up above through the ceiling and asked for help in a wispier. To the voice to help her understand, why her were eyes are in need to see something again.

 For the help she needs to understand, by God. To let her go back to her innocence and to all of those who are gone in this world which were too precious by all means, taught her to be great. She wants to see her twinkle she once had back into her eyes, not for a moment but forever. Take away the knowledge of things, she wishes she didn't know.

  In the room of mirrors she weeps quietly for a while. A voice tells her to rise and go to the nearest standing mirror. As she does, the voice says, "Watch closely". The mirror changes into a picture of her past then is zoomed into one moment. That single moment was shared between a granddaughter and a grandfather. The moment was a sad day and a great day in a pinch of a few seconds. A man started to forget who people were but his granddaughter walked in and changed things. They locked eyes with one another, his eyes danced with joy and he said her name. She said, “yes" and her eyes turned the love for him in her eyes as well. They have always shared the same twinkle by caring and the respect for others.

 The moment started to fade away from her and back into her reflection of herself in the room. The voice came back to speak again, “Listen to yourself, you still have all that you think you lost in spades. You have that twinkle inside of you and it's ready to be released. And you have the strength and the mind to achieve all you want in life. You have to want it for yourself, you are ready to move on to better moments then dwell on what you don't have or things you can't change. Believe, you are worth the fight to be in your own bliss on your own mountain top.

The voice said things; she needed to hear out loud and to remember herself by being free. “You need to remember that speech, you received when you were a little girl. Look across the room". She looked across the room into the rectangle mirror floating on the wall. The reflection turned into another picture of her past. She was walking up the hill with her uncle to school one morning. It was the beginning of the speech she was about receive from a man who understood her at a young age before she could understand herself before he left. He said, "What I am about to tell you is what I see in you and what I know who you will be in life." The girl looking into the mirror smiled because she forgot.

  "You will never do things like everyone else does and people won't like that but you will be successful. You will struggle with those around you and fight with those you care deeply about. You will walk away from those who try to break you and that's okay, it's not the end. You will have road after road of blocks taking down paths you don't want to be, but learn from every path you go on. There will be people who break your heart slowly and some quickly. But don't forget the right one will come around the corner and see you for who you are with pieces in places. Give them a chance because they want to take a chance with you. It will be hard to trust and let someone in but let them see you. Promise me, that you will stop yourself from doing others work and holding back on yourself, that's not fair because you have the strength and courage to explore all that comes your way. Be you through it all and try to stay the way you were made in your heart by following what’s best for you alone, no other influences should stop you from being where you should be. When you can't remember this moment and keep it locked in you. You may not remember it all and that's okay, knowing a little is better than knowing nothing at all. You will go through moments, you will never understand why you did go through them but it’s a life worth watching. Look at these moments from every angle to understand, why you are seeing it in the first place".

 The moment she longed for started to disappear within the mirror. The girl stared at the mirror for a while and said, "Thank you, I needed a reminder, I am strong, I am wise, I am ready". The room around her started to move, mirrors started to disappear and one by one they went. And the pictures on the ground started to move together to form a phrase, "You are ready". Then the pictures started to evaporate all together in the air and to the universe. The room she once though, she could never leave is not here anymore to hold her back. She wants to find out what life has before for her, the woman she always knew she could be someday and that someday starts now.

February 2016 update

Its already February ! Wow , I can't believe it . I hope this month is a better month than last month for everyone.
 Here is an update : I have been working on three individual pieces , they will be done soon as possible when I think they are ready. One of the pieces is a little hard to write and finish because it is to close to my heart ... To put into words and to share the way I want to be looked at. I think it will be worth the wait , I promise.  The other two pieces just came at me out of the blue , so they in the beginning stages. And I going to look at my book  and get back at it and finish it ! In other news , I will be adding new pictures and changing a few posts with images to go along with them. I will be doing more in misread fun , so be on the look out for that too!
 Thank you!
Don't forget to comment your thoughts on the previous pieces , I want to hear from you!
Love always,
  Misread

Is it all a Dream or Is it our Fate to be

I had a dream about you. Now I never met you in life but you’re in my mind somehow and you were a figment of my imagination. In that dream we were close together, we had a place together with stairs, big windows and white counter tops in the kitchen with white walls around. It was early in the morning and the sun was pouring in from the stair window.

For some odd unknown reason there were two kids sitting at the kitchen island a boy and a girl waiting for something to eat. I was cutting cucumbers on a wooden cutting block for them. Then you walked down the stairs in yellow pajama bottoms. You said, "Good morning Sunshine". I smiled and said back, “Good Morning" and about to say your name  when  that dream was cut short due to a friend that wanted to say, "Hello".

But how would fate have it, five years later in life. I saw you in the coffee shop on a Thursday afternoon at the corner table. You caught me by off guard where I was left without a voice and the biggest grin. You were at a table with the pen and paper and I assume you must be writing things down.

I took a glimpse at you when you weren't looking my way. I just couldn't believe what is happening. I got lost in my head thinking about the dream as clear as day, it was you. As I was waiting for my order, girls were looking at you across the room and giggling about you as they were chatting.

But I am the girl going over in her head about a dream about someone, I have never met and they are there in present time, almost in front of me. My heart was beating too fast that thinking started to go out the window when you walked by me to get back in the ordering line. The same haircut and the same dark eyes, same walk. You wore a grey shirt, black pants and a black leather jacket on the chair as you walked away.

My facial expression was too happy for a person getting a coffee drink, if you only knew, what was happening. I am still trying to hold myself together since I am in a public place. I wanted to laugh out loud and cry out at the same time.  I am just getting lost in my own mind like a crazy person trying to connect dots about something that was a dream. Then I noticed you looking at me from the ordering line, I was dressed in messy paint jeans and a workout top. I must have looked like a deer in headlights that couldn't decide to either go hide in a spot or just stare back at you. Instead I looked down at my teal sneakers and tried not to laugh but smiled and failed to do that nicely all together. So I took out my phone out of my pocket and pretended to be involved in it, which also ended with me looking at a blank screen while trying to hold down any emotion in.

Then the bar called my name with my order and I tried not to fall over myself to get it. Still smiling when I finally got it, then I realized, "What do I do now?" So I walked behind you in line and I caught the scent of you and I smiled a little more because that same scent lingered in my dream.

And out the door I went... When I walked out I stopped to take a sip and turned my head around a little to see you staring after me again like an unspoken connection as if you knew. I quickly turned back around, starting to laugh uncontrollably as I was walking back to my car and repeating saying, "That didn't just happen?”. As people were walking towards the shop, I said, “What are the odds of that happening in life?"out loud than in my own mind. Still happy as I can be from nothing but it all hit me like a gust of wind when I pulled back into traffic on my way home I realized...

What I could have done but I didn't in the moment. I just got lost in time lapse before I realized I could have said "Hello" at least to you. I don't regret things in my life because I make my own choices and sometimes life makes decisions for me. As I was hitting the steering wheel little hard and wondering why I didn't at least attempt to. The real question is: Was it a long dream to be in or is it our fate but either one of us took a chance? I hope we run into each other again and I will take the chance because you looked like happiness to me. I am smiling about someone who doesn't even know me and I don't know your name again. When I got home and sat at my office I just couldn't stop thinking, “How, Why?” The rest of the day, I smiled, laughed and wrote about us.

New Year Update of Jan 2016

I have new changes coming to this blog this year,
More writings will be coming  soon , hopefully a few each month and more than the previous year.
More pictures will be coming soon also, so the galleries will be full of new images and new sections.
I will start doing more book reviews to add to the list ( some of my favorites and some new ones that people recommend to me).
Also I will be adding a taste of a book ideas I have been working , I  think I have been too scared to give a myself  a shot at it and share it. SO a little sneak peek into those things...
***Just a little warning I will be changing the outlook of this blog but not anytime soon, (I think anyway)..
 Giving myself a chance is what this year is about and where this leads , who knows but I will look forward to seeing where it does,
P.S: I have a new piece I am currently working on and maybe it will be posted either tomorrow or next week...
 Much love and A Happy new year to you!
 - Misread

Finally bound

Slowly dancing on the floor looking at you from the door frame not saying a word. I smile back at you as I continued to hum to the music while my feet keep moving in a soft rhythm. I miss those last moments like this before you went off. The way you leaned on the door with your ankles crossed in those grey sneakers . And you said,"what am I going to do without you?" Then I said , "Great question,  I don't know but we will find out but don't go too overboard".
 We never had much materially around in life but we have everything in so much more in each other than anything else. I have no clue when you are coming home, but I hope it's soon. Every Friday for the last six months , that same music would play and I would make those cookies that are to sweet while dancing on the same wooden kitchen floor.When the same song comes on the day you left , I imagine you are in the red door frame,smiling. Everyday gets little longer without you but I know you will be home when you can as I day dream a little longer without you here. It's the second to last week of the month and I do the same thing as always. I keep dancing in a circle as I was mixing the dough together , dreaming of you . Then Someone grabbed a hold of me and we started to dancing together, I held my eyes closed thinking it was a dream until my eyes opened and I noticed you. I saw you through my own eyes,soft  enduring eyes with a little scruff around your chin,  I couldn't stop smiling and in that moment, I didn't care how much my face hurt. Finally all my day dreaming came true and your were home, safe and looking very serious.
 Then you whispered in my ear, " I found out what it is like and it's a problem for me.I am completely lost without you and I know how to fix that. Right now." I asked, "How? Tell me " Without missing a beat you said, ''Making you mine Officially".
I just stared into those Honest eyes of yours and said ," You would now?... After being away you wouldn't... You must be joking." You spun me around a few times ans said," Close your eyes please". I did  what you asked and counted the Mississippi's until you asked me to open my eyes again. When you did, you were down to a knee and had a string in one hand. I smiled at you because, you are worth it to me from day one and you looked too serious.Then you took my left hand and looked into me and talked through heart.  I know you didn't write down this but it come from your heart is what mattered to me.
"You are worth too much and yet just enough for me.You are strong when times are tough and see all the good in the world despite all the things are thrown at you. You make the little things important in life rather than focus on the big things that everyone looks at.You never demand or ask for things you deserve. You always take care of people around you first then yourself and I want to have the honor of holding you and take care of you forever. The chance to continue to see things through your eyes together and make our own imprint on the world. I want to do the things that scare us together and laugh about the holidays when we attempt to host a family gathering and the main course is thrown through the window.
 The tears started to go down my cheeks because I knew you were true by each word you spoke.I fell into my knees and just looked into you for awhile before I can say a word.Then I whispered ,"Now, How come you didn't lead with that first?" You just smiled and said, " Why don't you just answer first before I loose it".I waited a few moments just to drive you a little crazy.
"You are the man, I can see being lost with everyday and have everything at once.You are kind,honest and watch out for everyone in your life.You work overtime when you don't have to just so others can get off early to see their family.  You are the man I can see holding us up when I am too weak to do so . You are also the man that can handle my family for better or worse and I know wouldn't leave when you should but stand taller. I see you who you are in the inside , because your heart speaks to me before you ever walk in a room. You always keep me laughing and on my toes when it come s to your crazy ideas or little adventures.You are the most patience man I know. I don't know what I would do without you. I thought I was always yours, bounded".
 Looking back at you,"Yes,I am yours". You just started back at me and held my hands until you realized I said yes.You held my hand and wrapped the string around my finger into a bow."Babe you keep on my toes daily and I just want to be finally bounded to you officially". Then you helped us up and we started to dance in a little circle across the floor , just where we started from day one.