Tuesday, January 19, 2016

Is it all a Dream or Is it our Fate to be

I had a dream about you. Now I never met you in life but you’re in my mind somehow and you were a figment of my imagination. In that dream we were close together, we had a place together with stairs, big windows and white counter tops in the kitchen with white walls around. It was early in the morning and the sun was pouring in from the stair window.

For some odd unknown reason there were two kids sitting at the kitchen island a boy and a girl waiting for something to eat. I was cutting cucumbers on a wooden cutting block for them. Then you walked down the stairs in yellow pajama bottoms. You said, "Good morning Sunshine". I smiled and said back, “Good Morning" and about to say your name  when  that dream was cut short due to a friend that wanted to say, "Hello".

But how would fate have it, five years later in life. I saw you in the coffee shop on a Thursday afternoon at the corner table. You caught me by off guard where I was left without a voice and the biggest grin. You were at a table with the pen and paper and I assume you must be writing things down.
I took a glimpse at you when you weren't looking my way. I just couldn't believe what is happening. I got lost in my head thinking about the dream as clear as day, it was you. As I was waiting for my order, girls were looking at you across the room and giggling about you as they were chatting.

But I am the girl going over in her head about a dream about someone, I have never met and they are there in present time, almost in front of me. My heart was beating too fast that thinking started to go out the window when you walked by me to get back in the ordering line. The same haircut and the same dark eyes, same walk. You wore a grey shirt, black pants and a black leather jacket on the chair as you walked away.
My facial expression was too happy for a person getting a coffee drink, if you only knew, what was happening. I am still trying to hold myself together since I am in a public place. I wanted to laugh out loud and cry out at the same time.  I am just getting lost in my own mind like a crazy person trying to connect dots about something that was a dream. Then I noticed you looking at me from the ordering line, I was dressed in messy paint jeans and a workout top. I must have looked like a deer in headlights that couldn't decide to either go hide in a spot or just stare back at you. Instead I looked down at my teal sneakers and tried not to laugh but smiled and failed to do that nicely all together. So I took out my phone out of my pocket and pretended to be involved in it, which also ended with me looking at a blank screen while trying to hold down any emotion in.

Then the bar called my name with my order and I tried not to fall over myself to get it. Still smiling when I finally got it, then I realized, "What do I do now?" So I walked behind you in line and I caught the scent of you and I smiled a little more because that same scent lingered in my dream.

And out the door I went... When I walked out I stopped to take a sip and turned my head around a little to see you staring after me again like an unspoken connection as if you knew. I quickly turned back around, starting to laugh uncontrollably as I was walking back to my car and repeating saying, "That didn't just happen?”. As people were walking towards the shop, I said, “What are the odds of that happening in life?"out loud than in my own mind. Still happy as I can be from nothing but it all hit me like a gust of wind when I pulled back into traffic on my way home I realized...

What I could have done but I didn't in the moment. I just got lost in time lapse before I realized I could have said "Hello" at least to you. I don't regret things in my life because I make my own choices and sometimes life makes decisions for me. As I was hitting the steering wheel little hard and wondering why I didn't at least attempt to. The real question is: Was it a long dream to be in or is it our fate but either one of us took a chance? I hope we run into each other again and I will take the chance because you looked like happiness to me. I am smiling about someone who doesn't even know me and I don't know your name again. When I got home and sat at my office I just couldn't stop thinking, “How, Why?” The rest of the day, I smiled, laughed and wrote about us.

Thursday, January 14, 2016

New Year Update of Jan 2016

I have new changes coming to this blog this year,
More writings will be coming  soon , hopefully a few each month and more than the previous year.
More pictures will be coming soon also, so the galleries will be full of new images and new sections.
I will start doing more book reviews to add to the list ( some of my favorites and some new ones that people recommend to me).
Also I will be adding a taste of a book ideas I have been working , I  think I have been too scared to give a myself  a shot at it and share it. SO a little sneak peek into those things...
***Just a little warning I will be changing the outlook of this blog but not anytime soon, (I think anyway)..
 Giving myself a chance is what this year is about and where this leads , who knows but I will look forward to seeing where it does,
P.S: I have a new piece I am currently working on and maybe it will be posted either tomorrow or next week...
 Much love and A Happy new year to you!
 - Misread

Wednesday, January 13, 2016

Finally bound

Slowly dancing on the floor looking at you from the door frame not saying a word. I smile back at you as I continued to hum to the music while my feet keep moving in a soft rhythm. I miss those last moments like this before you went off. The way you leaned on the door with your ankles crossed in those grey sneakers . And you said,"what am I going to do without you?" Then I said , "Great question,  I don't know but we will find out but don't go too overboard".
 We never had much materially around in life but we have everything in so much more in each other than anything else. I have no clue when you are coming home, but I hope it's soon. Every Friday for the last six months , that same music would play and I would make those cookies that are to sweet while dancing on the same wooden kitchen floor.When the same song comes on the day you left , I imagine you are in the red door frame,smiling. Everyday gets little longer without you but I know you will be home when you can as I day dream a little longer without you here. It's the second to last week of the month and I do the same thing as always. I keep dancing in a circle as I was mixing the dough together , dreaming of you . Then Someone grabbed a hold of me and we started to dancing together, I held my eyes closed thinking it was a dream until my eyes opened and I noticed you. I saw you through my own eyes,soft  enduring eyes with a little scruff around your chin,  I couldn't stop smiling and in that moment, I didn't care how much my face hurt. Finally all my day dreaming came true and your were home, safe and looking very serious.
 Then you whispered in my ear, " I found out what it is like and it's a problem for me.I am completely lost without you and I know how to fix that. Right now." I asked, "How? Tell me " Without missing a beat you said, ''Making you mine Officially".
I just stared into those Honest eyes of yours and said ," You would now?... After being away you wouldn't... You must be joking." You spun me around a few times ans said," Close your eyes please". I did  what you asked and counted the Mississippi's until you asked me to open my eyes again. When you did, you were down to a knee and had a string in one hand. I smiled at you because, you are worth it to me from day one and you looked too serious.Then you took my left hand and looked into me and talked through heart.  I know you didn't write down this but it come from your heart is what mattered to me.
"You are worth too much and yet just enough for me.You are strong when times are tough and see all the good in the world despite all the things are thrown at you. You make the little things important in life rather than focus on the big things that everyone looks at.You never demand or ask for things you deserve. You always take care of people around you first then yourself and I want to have the honor of holding you and take care of you forever. The chance to continue to see things through your eyes together and make our own imprint on the world. I want to do the things that scare us together and laugh about the holidays when we attempt to host a family gathering and the main course is thrown through the window.
 The tears started to go down my cheeks because I knew you were true by each word you spoke.I fell into my knees and just looked into you for awhile before I can say a word.Then I whispered ,"Now, How come you didn't lead with that first?" You just smiled and said, " Why don't you just answer first before I loose it".I waited a few moments just to drive you a little crazy.
"You are the man, I can see being lost with everyday and have everything at once.You are kind,honest and watch out for everyone in your life.You work overtime when you don't have to just so others can get off early to see their family.  You are the man I can see holding us up when I am too weak to do so . You are also the man that can handle my family for better or worse and I know wouldn't leave when you should but stand taller. I see you who you are in the inside , because your heart speaks to me before you ever walk in a room. You always keep me laughing and on my toes when it come s to your crazy ideas or little adventures.You are the most patience man I know. I don't know what I would do without you. I thought I was always yours, bounded".
 Looking back at you,"Yes,I am yours". You just started back at me and held my hands until you realized I said yes.You held my hand and wrapped the string around my finger into a bow."Babe you keep on my toes daily and I just want to be finally bounded to you officially". Then you helped us up and we started to dance in a little circle across the floor , just where we started from day one.